You say that you’re pro sex. What do you mean by that?
I’m all for expressing and embracing your sexuality as long as it’s consensual and it’s safe. You should not be judged or discriminated against for that – it should just be a good time, really. Sex is a healthy part of life.
Why do you think it’s difficult for women to be open about sex, compared to men?
It’s just centuries and centuries of ingrained sexism. It’s like the concept of virginity, you know? There is this idea that a woman must be pure. It’s rooted in everything that a woman does, but at the same time, whilst a woman must remain pure, she also must also do what a man says. We are expected to remain pure, but also a product of men. They want us to be sexual and they want us to be a virgin at the same time. It’s like a catch-22 – if you fuck him then you’re a slut, if you don’t then you’re a prude.
Have you ever been called a prude for not wanting to have sex and what about a slut for wanting to have sex?
Oh, 100%. I’ve always been very sexual and very open. I love sex, and I’ve been called a slut for that, especially when I was younger. I feel like in high school it’s a lot worse. High school is when you start becoming sexual and when you are exposed to the reality of how women should act and what’s right versus what’s not and it’s when you are at your most sensitive. I remember when I was in grade ten and there was this girl who had sex with two guys on the same night of a party and everyone was completely appalled. I remember hearing about it and because I wasn’t as aware or as knowledgeable about my sexuality as I am now, I remember thinking, oh god… she had sex with two people?! And it’s like, why is that a bad thing? Why is it bad that this woman made a choice to have sex and have fun, so why is it so hard to wrap our heads around it? She clearly just wanted to have sex and she didn’t have a problem with it, so why did everyone else? It’s her business.
Activist and creator of ‘Choose Pussy Over Pain’, Cidney G Green, put it perfectly. She says, “Your level of comfort is not my responsibility. If you feel threatened by my sexuality, I cannot help you. It is not my problem”. A mans level of comfort is not a woman’s responsibility.
It’s not. It’s very intimidating to a man to come across a woman who realizes that she doesn’t have to live for a man and that’s why I think, a very sexually liberated woman is very intimidating to a man because she knows that her sexuality is about her and not about him.
You have been providing a perfect Segway into my questions! My next one is why do you think that a sexually liberated woman is such a threat to a man?
It’s a powerful thing. Sex is a very powerful thing and once you realize that you are in control of it, you can do what you want with it and it’s absolutely no ones business, you become an incredibly strong woman. You are doing it for you. A lot of women feel like they have to act a certain way, have sex a certain way, dress a certain way and not dress a certain way for a man. A woman who doesn’t do that because she realizes that she’s her own person is very nerve-racking to men. We have been taught our whole lives that we are property of men and everything about us is for them, but we’re not. I’m not religious, but God created Eve for Adam because he needed her. Men need women, but we have been taught that we are just here for their pleasure. As soon as a woman realizes that men need her more than she needs them, she can do anything.
It’s interesting because a lot of the “slut shaming” comes from other women. Sometimes I feel like it’s a way of “impressing” men. Have you experienced this?
Its internalized misogyny, which is as present in women as it is in men. I used to be like that too. When I was younger and more naïve, I would say things like, “oh that’s a bit slutty, isn’t it”, but again, it’s what we have been fed our whole lives. I feel like the women who say these things are unhappy with themselves and I’m not placing judgment on that and I hope that they can unlearn that someday, but again, it’s just the patriarchal society that we live in and I guess they believe in that.
To finish, I want to know what’s your view on still not being able to post pictures of nipples on Instagram? Why is it okay to see videos of people’s heads getting sliced opened; yet a woman can’t post a photo of her tits?
I don’t know what it is with this society’s obsession with what a woman can and cannot do with her body. If you are more offended by a woman’s nipple than someone’s head being cut off then you have something in yourself to sort out. There are so many more issues that are so much more damaging to the world as a whole and to everybody’s soul than a fucking nipple. There are people dying and you are offended by a mother breastfeeding? The female body is fucking beautiful. Women are beautiful. Where is the offence in a beautiful woman?